How to lose friends (who you don’t really like)

Palmer Smith

Wait about four days to respond
to a short text like “how r u?”
and make sure to write
“everything is fine.”
Don’t turn your read receipts on. 

Wear tortoise shell sunglasses
when you stroll around your neighborhood
preferably with a black-grey scarf.

If you see your almost-wish
it was-a-no-longer friend,
duck into the closest bodega.

Tell the manager you are
searching for a decade old magazine
with Oprah on the cover.
He will ask, “Excuse me?”
Talk about the weather. 

You are not a recluse,
just a simple woman,
feeling sexy to be left alone
with honest novels and your
fading pet fish, Walt Whitman.

When they call, assign the song
“all by myself” by Celine Dion
to the ringer ID. Let it ring.
Send a birthday gift, something
like a bottle of white wine,
but for God’s sake,
never, ever
go to the party.

Palmer is a graduate of Sarah Lawrence College and an incoming MFA and MA student. She has worked as a paralegal since 2018. She has written for Refresh Magazine, The Online Journal for Person-Centered Dermatology, Sea Maven Magazine and Calm Down Magazine, with work forthcoming in The French Press Zine and level:deepsouth.