Mindful Motorcycling

Robert Pegel

Mindful Motorcycling

Son died in
his sleep
at 16.
Always wanted to ride.
Felt no way with
a young son. 

Older brother, Johnny
went x country on bike.
Choppered out fork
life on the road,
picked sugar cane in Lousiana.
Odd jobs for $,
hippie life. 

Mother thought she would
never see him alive again.
Died young, 28, melanoma.
Role model for me.
Adventurer. 

Saw EZ Rider with him
and other brother,
David, around 15.
Dave raced dirt bikes,
died 34, sarcoma of spine.
Life isn’t fair. 

Let’s ride Bobby.
You’re never too old.
Sports bikes vs cruisers.
Young do wheelies,
invincible. 

Took safety course,
oldest guy.
Passed on mom’s day
in heavy downpour. 

First bike, Shadow 600
crash on gravel,
punctured lung.
Can’t quit yet.
Could get anyone,
even on a bicycle. 

Upgrade to blue bike
Vulcan.
Favorite color of son.
Seller’s name Calvin
same as my son.
Meant to be.
No regrets. 

900 cc now to
ponder on the
backroads.
Spiritual riding
is better than church.
Life not how I imagined
but dignity in stoic
survival. 

No Regrets 

My heart is going to explode
one day
from too much love
and too much pain. 

What a risk to have
a child
and not know what life
has in store for them.

Can only shield them
from so much.
The rest is out of
our control. 

Still I’d do it
all over again
even if it all ended
with heartbreak.
The bliss before
was worth
the agony after. 

Robert Pegel is a husband and father whose only child, his son Calvin, died in 2016. Calvin died in his sleep of unknown causes. Robert writes to connect to his son. He finds writing is therapeutic and creating is transforming. Robert has been published in The Madrigal, The Remington Review, Trouvaille Review, The Galway Review, Goat’s Milk, Bluepepper, The Pangolin Review, A New Ulster and others.  He has work forthcoming in Sledgehammer Lit, Resurrection Magazine, North Dakota Quarterly, Mason Street and Spirit Fire Review. 

Robert lives in Andover, NJ with his wife, Zulma and their Min Pin dog, Chewy. @bobopegs.