Notes From the Eastern Span of the Bay Bridge
Alan Chazaro
San Francisco Police and baseball officials gather following the Loma Prieta Earthquake during game 3 of the World Series on October 17, 1989, at Candlestick Park.John O'Hara / The Chronicle
Alan Chazaro is the author of the chapbook THIS IS NOT A FRANK OCEAN COVER ALBUM and the full-length poetry collection "Piñata Theory. The following poems are excerpts from his multi-part poem Notes from the Eastern Span of the Bay Bridge.
II. I must know: did it hurt you to have me
dismantled? Were you eager to break
the industry of my bones? Was it because I broke
your trust in ‘89 during my earthquake
collapse? When the Athletics and Giants
battled for the Bay? Or was it the technological
split in your design for tomorrows, the changing
color of my tongue? Did I build this
distance between our jawbones? Why haven’t
you trusted what I’ve given you
off my back? Have you noticed this drop
in my temperature? Tell me,
what do you know about connectivity? About
fingertips holding the weight of weekends
and outdoor getaways? Isn’t it ironic
how you’ve sent me away? Wasn’t I there
before their arrival, before
the turning? Who else will you push
down? What lines will you cross
if not my hips? What else
will you bury in my unmarked grave?
XIV. What if I told you they came
from everywhere to occupy
these palm tree
silhouettes? And what if I told you
I was born here, right here,
among it all? And what if I told you
your language for progress
was my language
for disappearance?
Would you believe the scars
thundering my knuckles? What
would you tell me
about yesterdays and tomorrows?
Where is the underside
of your admiration?
What happens when your interest
becomes exploit?
I was invited to sing. Instead they spun
a jackhammer staccato along
my spine. Maybe I’ll break
down like Fords in Friday traffic. Maybe
I’ll cry in public. Maybe
I’ll ask someone for more than this. Maybe
I’ll walk slowly along the emergency
lane while their eyes
stare from inside vehicles, forward
blurring, windows
rolled all the way up.
Alan Chazaro is the author of This Is Not a Frank Ocean Cover Album (Black Lawrence Press, 2019) and Piñata Theory (Black Lawrence Press, 2020). He is currently an adjunct professor at the University of San Francisco, a columnist at Palette Poetry, and is raising money for NBA arena workers during COVID-19. To learn more about his fundraising project, visit Mid 90s Kamikaze at https://gumroad.com/l/KHuQH for more details or find him on Twitter @alan_chazaro.