Self-Portrait with Birds Chirping in One Ear & Lil Baby's "All In" in the Other

Justin Rovillos Monson

photo credit: Oelania Rubino

Man that's nothin' mami, I'm not bein' funny
yah yah yahhh. I keep catching myself
with my lungs on the table between us
& notes written all over my arms. I want you
to palm these fragments of me, the vandal-
built shards I found on those hot, late nights
when I drove around my town, with the windows
down, alone, chest full of smoke, on the way
to meet the squad or a girl or the plug
-- I'm always on the way,
always… The short version is I swear
since I was seventeen I [was tryna be]
hood rich. I cannot divine a future without us
wondering how all these small fires did not burn
us into dust. Yet, still, the ink pattern of words
on books carrying our names, the oak tree
& the genesis story passed from mouth
to mouth to mouth until it dissolves
         (it belongs,
has always belonged to the vapors). This poem
was meant to be different, was meant to
show off my drip & put my chains in layers
but                     damn                    here I am
scratching my neck & counting down
the minutes until these birds reach for the weight
of one another in the dark & -- finally -- can rest.

Justin Rovillos Monson is a Filipino-American poet and writer. He is currently working on his first collection of poems, titled AMERICAN INMATE, and is currently serving a sentence in the Michigan Department of Corrections, from which he hopes to be released in 2027. @justinthepoet